We got to the foster home around 11:30...the latest so far. Before we left our apartment, I made sure I had everything I needed - little girl dress, tights, shoes, coat, diaper and wipes plus another outfit that I hoped to trade for one of her outfits to put in her memory box. It was not an easy task to accomplish without getting emotional. I have dreamed of having a little girl for many years and it just didn't feel like it was truly here.
The foster mom had put a cartoon on the computer to keep J busy. She had made lunch for us again and, again, I ate way too much! They keep encouraging you to eat more and, since her cooking is so delicious, I ate more than I normally would. Several meats - burger patties, pork kabobs, chicken wings and breaded pork patties - cabbage salad, wonderful bread and an amazing assortment of sweets for dessert. I am going to have to swim for miles to make up for the excess calories consumed this week.
The time to go came as abruptly as it did with our first adoption. Baba (foster mom) asked if we brought a coat for her. We did but I said it might be a bit big for her. She said if I wanted to leave it with her, she would give me J's coat which fit well. I was very happy to do that! She then brought out a pile of clothes and told me to choose what I wanted. I really only wanted one outfit but she kept piling stuff up saying it was J's and we should have it. I did end up giving her the outfit that I wanted to trade and she kissed it. Oh, my heart started breaking right there but I managed to hold it together.
Then.......she started changing J's clothes. J does not like to have her clothes changed (as I mentioned a couple days ago) and she started crying. Then the foster mother started to tear up. THEN, I looked over and the foster father had tears streaming down his face. I had to leave the room because I could feel the sobs rising up in my chest. I did my best to pull it together and wipe my tears. About that time, Z picked up J to carry her out. I think he could see that I couldn't do it. Baba put her hands to my face and kissed me and said something in Serbian. I believe she said something like, "Love and care for our child," and I told her I would. It felt like our hearts were knit at that point and we didn't need to speak the same language to understand each other. As we walked out of the door, I told Hubby that this is the part that I just could never get used to.
J seemed ready when I got in the car. There were no tears from her and she seemed happy enough to laugh at Daddy being silly. We had to stop at the social center because they wanted to see her with us. Hubby made some major points by being the one to carry her inside. And then even more when she put her head on his shoulder and went to sleep. They were very pleased with her attachment so far and sent us on our way. They indicated that the 2nd report will be filed on Monday. Then we just need to wait for that all important signature.
J did really well at the apartment for about an hour. Then, she started whining and getting a little agitated. I decided to lie on the couch with her on my chest and she fell asleep in just a couple minutes. We have discovered that she closes her eyes and buries her face when she is trying to disappear. If she is the slightest bit sleepy, she will zonk. She was pretty happy when she woke up about an hour later.
The rest of the night went rather well. When she is stressed, she doesn't eat. So, I picked my battles and gave her a couple cookie type snacks that I got the other day. They remind me, in flavor and texture, of Nilla wafers. I am thankful that she ate 3 of them and then drank probably 8 ounces of water.
The foster family told us that she does not play with toys. I think I realized that she is not a doll and stuffed animal girl. I handed her a matchbox car and she played with it all evening. She made car sounds and drove the car all over the bed and even used my jeans as a mountain by driving over it and even making tunnels under. She also commandeered my carmex tube. It was several different things tonight including a person (walking up to the car) and a phone. Apparently, she was calling someone to tell on Daddy. She was very animated talking into the "phone" and kept pointing to Daddy. All was great, even while changing her into her new pajamas. Turning the light off was a breaking point.
She started crying and would not calm. I ended up picking her up and walking into the living room and she calmed a bit. But if I tried to sit down, she started back. Hubby called the boys on Skype and when it was my turn to talk to them, he took her and continued walking. She was sleeping by the time I was done talking to the boys. I think he has the magic touch.
I am sad seeing her hurting. Her foster family is the only family she has ever known. And we come along....we talk funny, we smell different, and we can't understand her. The poor baby has every right to be upset. :( Prayers for her are still very much appreciated. It will take her a while to get used to us and to trust us.
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